A Little Pensive...

There are days, rather moments when we suddenly become aware of the life, of our flesh, of the heavy air around us. Some of us might be weighed down and a few blessed others may raise their heads to the skies and take it all in proudly. I have always felt these moments to be milestones set by something deep within us to make us aware if we are in the right direction. Its really simple if you can raise your heads to the skies you are on the right path but if you are weighed down you need to switch lanes.

I believe we live in an illusion where we waste tears on the bygones and waste our worries on yet-to-comes. We are trapped in this web of days we will never see again and the days that might not see us. When you really think about it, the thought sends shivers down your spine. And it is understood no one wants a date with the Grim Reaper. I guess i am a little pensive because i am nearing into my life more than ever. I like to write life and not death because what is death but an absence of life.

When i was a kid a mere ten year old, a free spirit, i remember we were taught to dream, to stretch out our wings and fly away. I remember that graphically well because there is a picture of me standing with the school choir and singing “Breakaway” by Kelly Clarkson. I knew the song by heart then and i still do even though it has been ten years since then. But somewhere along the way the wings got heavy and flying away started seeming like a foolish thing to do. It was not that easy, NO! It took mighty ten years of learning to dream the right dream, to trust something other than my inner voice, to lose present to unseeable., to worry about blots on the pages I had already written

But last few have days have given me so many moments of those bare encounters with that feeling of my presence that i am not able to shake it off. It is haunting that little corner in my head that holds the memory of “I want to be” session in the kindergarten. I remember my answer was being a “water walker”, not sure what I meant exactly, but i also remember everyone applauded me. It seems utterly ridiculous to me that a bunch of five year olds had more courage than most of us today. Maybe that is exactly the reason to dust off the cobwebs off your wings and stretch them out, then probably take a leap of faith.